My son goes to a school for the deaf. His school might not be the best at playing Marco Polo, talking to teammates on the court or even listening to their teachers, but I'll challenge anyone to beat them in a game of charades! Bring it on!

So facebook made a bit of an awkward situation the other day. She introduced me to someone and said, "I think you guys should be friends."

How can I tell her I don't want to be friends with that person without things getting awkward? Facebook just wants me to be friends with everyone! Just leave me alone!

Hi, I'm a teacher and at least once in my lifetime I have broken my pinky finger nail on things in the classroom. These pains make it nearly impossible to function as a teacher, husband or father, because I'm completely incompetent and I can't handle anything that causes any discomfort. Because I'm a hypochondriac, I speed dialed my 'doctor' and he recommended Buffcitrocen. Buffcitrocen was 100% effective because I didn't break a single pinky nail since the time I have been taking it.

*In a soft kind really fast voiceover while showing pictures of me smiling while I do meaningful things*

Warning: In the only test trial we were legally able to do before the FDA tried to ban this product, Buffcitrocen left patients without feeling in their legs, loss of sight, loss of limbs, caused massive violent diarrhea attacks at random times, caused screaming fits that lasted three to fifteen hours, severe brain damage and death.

Do not use Buffcitrocen if you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or ever want to use your reproductive system again.

If you are experiencing abdominal pains, tingling all over your body, or the sensation that lady bugs are crawling into your eye sockets, that is normal, no need to call anyone.

Patients on Buffcitrocen should not eat grapefruit, operate machinery, go to work, and be around children, animals or anyone you want to remain your friend.

So if you have suffered with a broken pinky nail as I have, google search Buffcitrocen and order it off the black market now, and say goodbye to pinky nail breakage forever.

Wait just one second. Did that say no grapefruit? Never mind. I'm out.

"Hi, I'm Jim, and I'm socially awkward."

You know you're getting old when Mushroom Spinach Steak sounds like something you'd not only choke down under duress, but actually choose to eat with the anticipation of enjoying.

If it sounds gross, you might be a youngster, or you might just have terrible taste in food.

Also I used the word youngster so I'm definitely old.

If I unfollowed everyone who posted something I didn't agree with, all I'd see on my wall would be ads. 

"There is no 'I' in TEAM. And hopefully there is no 'U' in my team."

I'm not in it for the money.

Although I am underpaid, to a certain extent I am in this for the money.

I sure as heck wouldn't come spend my day in a classroom filled with germ carriers if they weren't paying me.