*In a soft kind really fast voiceover while showing pictures of me smiling while I do meaningful things*
Warning: In the only test trial we were legally able to do before the FDA tried to ban this product, Buffcitrocen left patients without feeling in their legs, loss of sight, loss of limbs, caused massive violent diarrhea attacks at random times, caused screaming fits that lasted three to fifteen hours, severe brain damage and death.
Do not use Buffcitrocen if you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or ever want to use your reproductive system again.
If you are experiencing abdominal pains, tingling all over your body, or the sensation that lady bugs are crawling into your eye sockets, that is normal, no need to call anyone.
Patients on Buffcitrocen should not eat grapefruit, operate machinery, go to work, and be around children, animals or anyone you want to remain your friend.
So if you have suffered with a broken pinky nail as I have, google search Buffcitrocen and order it off the black market now, and say goodbye to pinky nail breakage forever.
Wait just one second. Did that say no grapefruit? Never mind. I'm out.