Blog Archives

Safety Standards

5/31/2017

Tired of the constant dangers in schools?

Do you wish your child could do standardized tests without risking their lives with unnecessarily pointed weapons, try the safety sharpener!

It sharpens your pencils to a safe dull edge that is border line unusable!

Available now in all classrooms everywhere!

Try it now, for the safety of the future generation...

Think of the children!

Pencil Sharpeners

5/29/2017

I wonder if there are scientists who tune pencil sharpeners to the most annoying sound possible.

Organic vs. Healthy

5/26/2017

I think Organic and Healthy are pretty much the same thing.

They are both things that taste like eating straw and leave me wanting chocolate!

Dryer Shoot!

5/22/2017

I love my loofah!

I'm not entirely sure why, but from time to time I throw it in the laundry to get it super cleaned up.

Just a note to anyone else in that boat. Don't let it get put into the dryer. Hair thin strands of plastic mixed with an hour of heat and your favorite white shirt does not end well.

The Difference One Letter can Make!

5/15/2017

I like bikini hiking running and hunting.

I like biking hiking running and hunting.

Banana

5/11/2017

Dear Banana Tree,

We have received your strongly worded complaint and it is registered with our HR department. If we understand your complaint correctly, you are concerned that "for years we have been ripping your children from your limbs, shipping them off to a foreign country where they are torn apart, their heads are ripped off, they are skinned and finally eaten."

We have sent this concern up to our managers and it will dealt with in three to five decades.

Sincerely,
Bananaman

Guilt?

5/8/2017

As a Christian, should I feel bad about eating Deviled eggs or Devil's food cake?

Cause I don't.

I don't know why they are called that, but when I'm eating them I really don't care.

Another one I can't find!

5/1/2017

I'm searching and searching, but still can't find this in my copy of the Bible... Maybe I need a new one!

"Care for the poor, unless it's inconvenient, or will cause you to be less rich. Basically look out for yourself, then if you have anything left over, that you don't want to spend on stuff you don't need, you can give those crumbs to the poor if it will get you a better tax deduction."