What I didn't realize was the fun I was missing out on.
So this time she's at a Continued Education trip for a couple of days I'm going to stay home, and I'm going to discover the answer to many of life's mysteries...
These aren't the kind of mysteries that will help humanity, it's just the kind of thoughts men have from time to time, and the women of the world stop us from actually trying them.
How fast will a sled go down the stairs?
How many kids can stay on a sled that is going down the stairs?
What would happen if I combined baking soda and vinegar in a Kitchen-Aid mixer?
What is a mini-van really capable of?
Would the kids actually jump off the roof of the house onto the trampoline?
Can I cut frozen meat with a skill saw?
Does everything really taste better with Bacon?
How late can I sleep in and have the kids still catch the bus?
Would eating a gallon of ice cream really make a three-year-old sick? How 'bout a thirty-plus-year-old?
Does cooked spaghetti stick to a moving ceiling fan?
Do Twilight DVD's survive a bonfire?
And when my wife gets home, the house will be mostly clean, the kids will be alive, and although she may wonder how we got tire tracks up the shed wall, or how a toothpaste stain got on the ceiling of the playroom, she'll be so happy to see me she won't even worry about those things... I hope.