Several businesses are very active in our community, and often give out certificates in school to help encourage students. If a student reads every day of the month, they get a free personal pan pizza, for example. (I know that's like a $3 coupon that makes our family buy $20 of pizza but it's fun for the kids and gets them excited about reading.)

I love that the businesses and school are working together for this, it's great. However, I got home and saw this on the shelf. Does anyone see anything wrong here?

That's Right! They are celebrating Dental Health by giving kids sugar! What in the world is going on?

That's like giving kids a free A on any assignment to celebrate 'Education Week', or giving them an ice cream coupon to celebrate National Health Week, or giving them ice cream for obesity awareness, or giving them ice cream for lactose intolerance day, or giving them ice cream in the winter, or giving them ice cream for just about anything. Let's just stop giving kids ice cream alright!

I was thinking of putting up a list of other things to NOT give children in schools, but I didn't want to get flagged as a terrorist.

So this year the snow days have been so ridiculous. I hate to say it without sounding old, but when I was in school... I lived in Canada.

If we had snow days every time it snowed, we'd never have a summer vacation. A snow day in Canada was when freezing rain made the roads a complete sheet of ice and it fell between 2:00 am and 6:00 am. Those were days you didn't leave the house. Now it seems like on snow days you can drive any car, with any kind of tires, just about anywhere and you'll be fine.

There was one day growing up when they said it was too cold for school. It honestly wasn't very well thought out. They decided after we were at school that we should go back home. So at lunch time we all went home. It was great for bus students, but for those of us who lived in town we were walking home in really cold weather. I remember spitting and watching it freeze before it hit the ground. It was cold, but oddly enough, we all made it home safely and no fingers were lost to frostbite. I sort of reminded me of the kid who licked the flag pole in the Christmas Story.

In fact I think that should be the determining factor. Before a superintendent can cancel school for it being cold, he/she should do the tongue on a flag pole test outside.

So I was going to the bathroom and I saw a sign similar to this one.

I know that print can't have a tone to it, but doesn't this seem more like a threat than a caution sign?

Picture a mafia boss standing at the top of a flight of stairs. He casually leans over and says, "Watch your step. You might fall down the stairs. Accidents happen."

I'm thinking they should maybe make a more friendly sign.

The other day I was in the pharmacy getting some allergy medicine for my wife and I couldn't help but laugh out loud at the warnings on the box. If you want a good laugh, go read some warnings on medicine some time.

It said:
Excitability may occur
Alcohol, sedatives and tranquilizers may increase drowsiness
Drowsiness may occur

So I'm not sure if this thing was just trying to cover all it's bases but the pill can either cause excitability or drowsiness. That's like the weather forecast saying that it may rain, snow, or be sunny just to make sure they are never wrong. That part I can sort of understand, maybe some crazy will try to sue them if they take the pill then get sleepy. Or someone who takes the pill before going to bed may blame them for not being able to sleep. Perhaps they should have included that the pill may have no impact whatsoever on one's energy, just in case someone has a false expectation.

The middle warning is what really confuses me. Tranquilizers may increase drowsiness. I would hope so, if not what's the point of the tranquilizer? But one minor detail... this is not a tranquilizer, it's an allergy pill.

Why not include in there that speeding may cause an accident, or studying will cause you to do well on a test. It seems like a waste of print space to include that taking a sedative, or tranquilizer 'may' make you drowsy.

So I have created my own list that should be printed on the back of every medicine, in case someone should not know these things:

Opening your eyes may cause you to see something.
Listening may cause you to learn something.
Never shutting up may cause you to lose friends.
Drinking water may cause you to not be thirsty.
Swimming may cause wetness.
Owning chickens may cause you to get eggs in the morning.
Owning a rooster may cause you to lose sleep in the morning.
Watching Twilight may cause drowsiness.
Watching Twilight may cause excitability.
Reading this list may cause you to waste moments of your life that you will never get back.

So I was out the other day and had some interesting experiences that made me laugh. Not that the experiences themselves was funny, but questions kept popping into my head and for the most part that is where they stayed. I actually did ask one of the below questions. Can you guess which one?

Pharmacist:
Why does it take you 20 minutes to print a label and shake a bottle?
Then when I returned to pick it up:
Really, you haven't shaken it yet? Don't worry, I'll put it in my baby shaker I have at home.

Pharmacist: I didn't have one big bottle, but I had two smaller ones. So have him start with one bottle, then when he's done with that, he can take the second.
Me: So after the first one...?

Pharmacist: You can also put them in the fridge, but you don't have to.
Me: What if I wanted to put it in the microwave, is that ok?

Wal-Mart:
Where are the tick collars?
Do they work on children?
Can I eat it?

Pizza Place:
Can I have one that is not dropped on the floor?
Is that guy going to make my food?

Random thoughts on the way home:
Did you know there was a gas pedal in that vehicle?
Those fake deer on your lawn; Are they supposed to make drivers swerve and get in accidents in front of your house, or make hunters shoot at your house?

I've seen some really funny signs while out and about. One of my favorites is a sign that has been in place for about ten years on a semi-major road in Ontario: "Rough roads next 15km" Really? If you know the roads are falling apart for the next 15km why don't you fix them?

Not long ago I was driving down the street and I saw a sign that I have probably passed hundreds of times, but for some reason it made me laugh.

The sign said: "Crosswalk Enforced by Law"

This is literally a sign telling people to obey an upcoming sign. Do we really need this kind of reminder? Isn't it enough to have one sign that tells us what to do? What is the world coming to? 

Are there actually people out there who pass by a sign and say to themselves, "I'm not going to obey that sign because there wasn't a sign up the road telling me that this one will be enforced."

What's next? A sign to tell you to obey the reminder sign? In our not too distant future the importance of the law will be defined by the number of signs posted.

"Officer I'm sorry that I drove my car into that day care center, but in my defense there was only one sign saying that kids were playing there."

"You have a solid point, you can go free."

A plea to the powers that be:  Please do not clutter my beautiful open roads with redundant signs. If I read the signs that are already posted will you take the money you would waste on extra signs and fix the potholes on my road?

Not sure who thought this was a good idea, but... Really!?

I like to watch people, and a couple of years ago I made a discovery. Men like to argue and women like to agree.

Women will go to a book club and discuss a book that they all love. They come home feeling uplifted and happy because they all talked about something that they all agreed about. When one woman mentions something that other women agree on, they get that excited look in their eyes and they all agree and share very similar stories that all make the same point. Women love to agree with each other and they seem to find happiness when others agree with them.

If two men agree about something they don't talk about it. Men are problem solvers and they will talk when there is a problem to be solved, or if they need to prove someone else is wrong. Example: Sports commentary (I never said it had to be an important problem). Before a big game men will gather around a television for hours watching other men debate over who will win a football game, then they sit for hours and watch the game. When it's over, you won't hear much else about it. When the issue is resolved, why talk about it? We know who won, now we don't need to sit around and figure it out.

The challenge comes in when men and women are expected to talk to each other... I hope you weren't reading to find any kind of solution to this challenge.  If I knew the solution, I wouldn't write about it... I'm a man.