As the apples begin to fall off the trees I'm getting really excited for some apple cider. Each year we pull out an antique press and mill and make cider from the trees on our family's property.

This year I decided to change things up a bit. I bought a garbage disposal, and built a small stand for it, and I'm going to send the apples through that thing while the other family members are hand grinding apples. I don't know that it'll be any faster, as I need to do one apple at a time, but my army and back will feel a whole lot better at the end of the day! :)

What family traditions do you have around the fall time?

It's pretty windy where I live and we had this large green ball blow out into the middle of the hay field next to our house. I asked my daughter and son to go out into the field and retrieve a ball.

My son Andrew is three years old and does not talk. The other day I went up to the playroom to put on a movie for him. I picked up one movie and he shook his head and made a sound that was a little like, 'no'.

For all you young people, or young at heart, if you want a quick reference or self exam on where you fall, please check out my list.

To be on Santa's Good list:
Eat your veggies
Say your prayers
Play nice with others
Rub daddy's shoulders daily
Sleep in on Saturday morning
Save the orange skittles for mommy
If you sleep walk... sleep clean up after yourself

To be on Santa's Naughty list:
Fight, bite, and steal candy
Tear off your diaper and run around ... in church
Toy manufacturers - create noisy toys
Family and friends - buy noisy toys for my kids
Eat all of daddy's green skittles (back when green was lime)
Wake mommy and daddy up by sitting on their heads...with a poopy diaper

Just remember with the hundreds of millions of children in the world, Santa starts checking his list in June and he really doesn't have time to check the list twice, so avoid the naughty list.

Merry Christmas!

I guess at this point it is obvious that I don't get out much: two posts about garbage day must mean that's the only time I leave my house... 

Anyway, I'm thinking that I'll invest into trash bags. Seriously think about it, here is a product that you buy to throw away. What else do we buy with the intent to throw it away, then go back and buy it again?

What is even more amazing is the kinds of trash bags that are out there. When I go shopping for a trash bag I look at one thing; the price. I buy the cheapest bag I can find. I don't care if it tears a little, or if I have to tie it in a knot. I'm throwing it away. I just need the thing to hold together for about 5 minutes, from the house to the curb, then I don't care how nice it looks, or how sturdy the plastic, or how convenient the drawstrings... It's in a dump truck!

So while taking the trash out today I had an epiphany: A company making top of the line products that people take to the curb each week, then come back to overpay for more -- I'm sure the CEO's and Owners are really GLAD!!!

I saw a great quote and I can't find any source for it. Google has let me down. 

If anyone can find a source please let me know in the comments so I'm not plagiarizing. But since it's a free blog it's not like they can sue me... and I'm probably slightly misquoting them anyway... What are the fair use copyright laws?...Why don't I stop being an English teacher and get to the point?

"Don't criticize your spouse's flaws. It is those same flaws that made her not pick someone better than you."

It's so true!

I'm just so glad that my wife has so many flaws... wait a sec, that was supposed to come out as a compliment, like I'm glad she chose me.

This blog post is just not going well for me right now. I don't think that there is any way for me to dig myself out of the hole I've made. I should probably stop right now before I get myself in trouble.

Spring cleaning is a fun time of year. We clean out all the junk that has been accumulating over the winter and put out piles of trash on the curb.

I live out in the country and have a long driveway, so every week I have to make a very important decision. Wheel barrow or Wagon.

Wheel Barrow:
Looks Manly
Gives me an upper body workout
Can only hold two bags of trash

Wagon:
Looks like I'm stealing a child toy and filling it with trash
Requires very little effort
Can hold up to three bags of trash

During Spring Cleaning, the Wagon wins out due to the added trash bag capacity.

So picture this: It's an early Spring morning, the birds are singing in the trees, a few resilient dewdrops are clinging to the grass as the sun makes its first appearance in the sky. Then a clattering sound of wagon wheels destroys the serenity of the morning.

Banging loudly along the rough stone driveway a wagon, carrying three bags of trash, is being pulled by a most ridiculous figure. The man, (that's me) is covering his pajamas and bed head with high black rubber boots, a long brown hoodie, a baseball cap, and leather work gloves.

The best part is that my neighbors only seem to come after I've dropped off the trash. So all the cars drive by to see me dressed like a clown dragging an empty wagon behind me as I go towards my house. 

I wonder what they're thinking:

Is that guy going to rob that house?
Hey he lost a kid.
That's an odd way to take a morning stroll.
Is it mismatch day?
Nice boots.

Funny, they never wave.

Every Mother's Day I think of my older brother. That may seem odd, and it is, but he said something that has always stuck with me. It was a conversation that went something like this:

Shawn: "Happy Mother's Day. So what are you going to get me?"

Mom: "What?"

Shawn: "I'm the reason you're a mother so what are you going to do for me today?"

Mom: "I'm the reason that you made it past your last birthday so what are you going to do for me today?"

I love the playful and fun banter that we always had growing up. My mom helped to make the house a place where we could joke, laugh, and most importantly, love.

Happy Mother's Day Week!

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head and think, "I love this song! I'm glad that I get to listen to it over and over again?"

If you're like me that never happens. I end up with partial songs, annoying songs, and sometimes songs that I don't even know the words. That's the worst! I can't even tell people the song that won't leave me alone because all I can do is hum a bar or two, then say a word or two while I'm getting that you're-out-of-your-mind look that I get more often than I'd like to admit.

So anyway today was that kind of day. I had a song from the Disney's The Little Mermaid in my head. It was the song that the evil Sea Witch sings in the boat while throwing her hair pin at the mirror. It kinda goes like de-de-de- out to sea I'll look divine... do-do-do-working out something... soon I'll have that little Mermaid and the OCEAN WILL BE MINE!!!

Well now you're probably giving your computer screen one of those why-did-I-finish-reading-this-post look, unless of course, you're not actually reading this... :)

When I was first getting to know my wife we were talking about some of our favorite things. While it did not lead into a musical number about kittens and puppies all tied up in strings, it did make an interesting turn.

For some reason, beyond any level of common sense, I blurted out that one of my favorite smells was a freshly spread field. Despite my inexplicable declaration of liking the smell of manure, she did not go running in the opposite direction.

Here we are almost eleven years later. We built a house in the middle of a large field and the local farmers hay all around us. This past winter and spring they have been fertilizing in front and now beside the house, filling the air with the overwhelming and ever-present smell of cow poop.

In memory of a time when I said I liked that smell, I wrote a verse that can be added to the song 'Favorite Things'.

Gray shirts and kisses and long-distance phone calls
Talking 'till midnight and ring shopping in malls
Noisy old tractors with spreaders that fling
These are a few of my favorite things

When the egg rots
When the milk sours
When an accident 's had
I open my window to my 'favorite' smell
and then they don't seem so bad.

It is safe to say that today a spread field is not one of my favorite things.

Some advice: If you are ever in the situation where you are asked to list your favorite smells here are some great smells that should come to mind well before a freshly spread field: fresh baked bread, Spring, perfume, flowers, and pretty much anything else.