For an added measure I put my arm around the trash bag and imagined what I might say if someone were to see me driving down the road with my trash bag date.
"Hey baby, I know some people think you're trashy, but I like you the way you are. I don't mind the smell either." Then I'd pat her on her back. "I know you're a bit round in the middle, but I actually like you that way, the bigger the better."
What I wouldn't tell my 'date' is that I'm actually using her. I know it would break her heart if I told her the truth. "I'm going to drop you off at this corner, then I never want to see you again."
So in case you've ever wanted to know what is going on in my mind... There you go.
Picture taken from: http://noarlungapackaging.com.au/trash-bags-77ltr-garbage-bags/