Andrew's Goals
20 year plan:
Rule the world
10 year plan:
Take over a small country
5 year plan:
Drive parents completely nuts!
Short term: (Remember overachieving will help you reach your goals quicker)
Make one mess in each room each day.
Break at least one thing they cherish per week.
Secretly take energy pills to help me run from one thing to the next all day long.
Stack up chairs, tables, and toys to get things they think are out of reach.
Spread one baking ingredient all over the carpeted living room biweekly.
Build up my strength and agility so I can outrun my parents.
Give my biggest cutest smile when I am caught.
Use ingenuity to make my parents just stop and look at what I've done for several minutes before getting me in trouble.
Find the one marker that is not on the top shelf and practice art skills on any flat surface.
Change my eating habits every other day.
Pretend I just can't hear them.
And Finally, climb into bed with them each morning, and sweetly snuggle up to them, just to let them know that I really love them very much!
Emergency Plan A:
If they get that crazed look in their eyes, hug them to let them know everything will be alright.
Emergency Plan B:
If Plan A does not work, deviate from short term goals until parent's faces regain their natural color.
Emergency Plan C:
If Plans A and B fail, act surprised that parents are going crazy.
Disclaimer: Please note that the above blog post is written for comedic reasons only. If this is intercepted by government officials, my son is actually not trying to dominate the world, nor does he have any intentions of ruling a small country. He is just a very overactive three-year-old boy with autism. If you are a toy manufacturer who wants to test the durability of a child's toy, feel free to send them our way and we will tell you within 24 hours if your toy will stand the test of time. If you provide shipping we will also send back what is left of the toy. If you are a doctor, or person of any kind who has ever said 'he'll eat it if he gets hungry enough' we would like to see you try that one. If you are the person who sneaks Andrew the energy pills each day, I will find you. If you leave a pen, pencil, crayon, chalk or marker anywhere in my house, you owe me a bucket of paint. If you come to our home and find that we are sitting on the floor rocking back and forth while drooling, and Andrew has a satisfied smile on his face, you will know that he has succeeded in his goals.